Only rain

Seeing the sheets of unfinished writings, the clothing mess the one she hate the most, all the food without being eaten, in the bathroom, the light it’s on waiting like some hope of killing memories, the TV tries to speak it’s no good a favourite channel in the morning so just tries a little buzz echoing that kind a buzz that we are used to hear and we don’t care a buzz that makes this city what it is, its just one more day, the dawn show its face, and he’s there staring at the glass and remembering that smooth lips, and the beauty of that first kiss, he just looks down and also remembers that little dog who use to kiss him all the time, always licking his noose, suddenly he just look that everything in that house it just stares at him, without moving, all its quiet….

Cloudy and blurry, with the weight of a lot of yesterday’s beers competition, without hunger, and with hunger of being hungry, without think, trying to not have feelings and looking at the keys, he don’t remember that last night he puts the 3 keys in the black table 1.- house keys, 2.- car keys 3.- secret key, ready to go and with no memories of that stoned night, ready to see how the rain its falling, this day it’s a black cloth day…

He just sit on, and see every window… waiting for some post, waiting Phosphorescent that light that still without saying words, having her in her minds just drop him to a middle man. He connects to this little job of typing and talking about how bigs the industries can be, trying to talk about her but there’s no one to care, today the songs that makes him miss her was “Cielo Gris” he just hear it a lot seeing how the sky it was grey as grey as his thoughts about her, he just knows that she don’t feel the same… but he’s just guessing how she feel, looking every window, every drop of water he tries to see her face, someone should do a software that makes windows rain and being filled with drops of water, raining in every window will make the day better… and will make him see her face that faces she makes when there were things she don’t like…

And there the hours goes bye, the evening comes with lots of water, he’s just thinks about all the moments she have been through and the way she didn’t want to fight for their love, he’s thinking about a wedding and how he would miss to take her to that wedding, he stops and remembers her legs moving over in the bed, and he knows that the day after this day it will be the same and don’t have words to think, a mind with no words to think he had become, he knows this days would be grey with some hell moments where the feet cant move… moments when he stops and just think in that old great memories, love is full when that moments are blessed and when those moments make love to that person…

Its rain and he wants to get wet, he wants to walk and he’s walking while the rain its falling, the sky it’s a beautiful grey and the song “cielo gris” sound in his mind he miss her and he want to think that she miss him, but this is a rain for being free only rain, he just look at the people hiding and running people that looks like if they were painted in the background of some picture a big picture with no thing to care, a nostalgic one..

He opens the door, he get to his chair, the new one and drinks the bottle, the eternal one, he tries this night not to think about her… a tear comes just like the rain and he just want to know how she could have drink those tablets of oblivion

My little baby angel

She came today in a sunny day wearing her unique mask, the one she puts an makes the whole world go around, she came giving the cats its food and talking to them with her only sweet voice, the voice that got him so in love of his little child, his angel…

He has no words for her mother, she just stops by with no words, just saying that she needs to get busy. and she has no Saturday afternoon for this sweet little angel, he looks her and noticed that she’s even wearing a big collar with some stones, things that she has not been used since he knows her, with no words in his throat she goes away saying good-bye she didn’t notice that she’s broken things again, but she doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter if some person needs to be hug or need to be asked about his life… who cares she don’t love him anymore and that’s the only reason she need before to noticed him

But then the sweet baby angel comes with her big smile and say some words like its ok I’m used to, let’s paint because life needs a lot of colours with the taste of my hand, they just lay down on the floor and start doing some shapes, for him it’s hard to look at the world like a rainbow, but she’s there with all her joy just hoping to draw the biggest miracle she always make: a big smile on his face.

They take some time at painting and he asked her is she has been eaten something, she just said --- I don’t think so ---- very surprised he take the shoes and they go to eat spaghetti, she says it’s the only thing that she likes to eat and says it got to be white with nothing on, there in the table you can draw with crayons we just drive butterflies little baby loves drawing and its amazed by the fact that she can draw on the table..

In central park they just laugh doing some walk and her playing in all the mechanical attractions going and going, so happy seen the world and his daddy, they go the lake and he think to himself why he don’t ever take her in the boat, why he don’t walk hand in hand in that park and have a wonderful kiss in the middle of the three…

But its again that angel smile that comes with her jumping and yelling and her brave character to see the broken things as a common thing the dried love getting rotten the face of his daddy looking at the horizon, that sweet smile that in the night gave a wonderful good night hug….

Chapter 1 (the chapter where we explain all the shit)

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He was just sitting there writing his unique diary, there was a new world to find, a new way of Inventiveness, the night was so dark so empty, he look thru the window of his office and see no stars, he just happens to lose something in his life.

A week ago he can tell to everyone that life was a beauty, he was in a battle against everything that comes in the way, and he felt like he was winning he felt that she would stay and that all reasons to their love were going to end living together, he was lapping and kissing he was…

But now, this blog starts as a lot of blogs, the history of a sadness life, she left, she put her bags and her dog in a bus to another place, she said she will be brave, and she swears she don’t love him, she says she’s tired of living like this and she find no reason to stay here in this big rotten city…

His heart just stops when he reads that all her stuff is now in another home, he try to find words to stop her but she’s talking about leaving and said there’s no way back, the best way for this man it’s say good-bye now, maybe his heart wont stand for another farewell, although he knows she would stay in the city more days he knows he has been doing the best to get her love back….

How long can be the days when someone’s getting out your life? How long could you stay with your eyes looking at the night, the sky offers no help the rain is falling hard and he drives his car around the city, to forget…

After he knows that her heart it’s gone, he just stops in the middle of the job trying to understand:

Why love a person who can’t fight for what it wants?